In Part 2 of his conversation with Melissa Carey, behavioral health therapist Jim Ellermeyer explores these questions and more on Fishing Without Bait.

Melissa begins by discussing her introduction to Reiki and other energy-based practices, tracing her interests back to her education in music therapy and the mentors who helped shape her path. She explains her approach to Reiki, the importance of personal intention, and why she does not promise specific outcomes from a session.

The conversation takes a deeply personal turn when Melissa discusses raising four children, including the additional demands that can come with special needs. She speaks openly about loving her children while struggling with the responsibilities and expectations of motherhood.

For Melissa, an important turning point came when she realized she was allowing parenting books, family members, teachers, and society to determine how she should raise her children. By deciding to trust her own choices, she began to experience motherhood differently.

Jim and Melissa also examine the expectations placed on women, the importance of self-concept and self-esteem, and the challenge of recognizing what we deserve in relationships.

Jim asks a powerful question: What are the requirements someone must meet to be with you?

Melissa adds an important perspective: How can someone recognize respect, autonomy, or healthy relationships if they've never experienced them?

This episode invites listeners to consider how mindfulness, honesty, self-trust, and personal responsibility can help us build a life that reflects our own values.

Connect with Melissa Carey

Explore Melissa's work at Into the Spirit Healing:
https://intothespirithealing.life

Support Fishing Without Bait

Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode.

Enjoy ad-free episodes and support our ongoing conversations about mindfulness, recovery, and personal growth on Patreon:
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Continue your mindfulness journey with Jim's book, Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Learn more about the podcast:
https://www.fishingwithoutbait.com/

In Fishing Without Bait Episode 527, Jim Ellermeyer sits down with longtime co-host and Producer Mike to explore Buddhism not as an unreachable ideal, but as a practical way of approaching everyday life.

Being awake doesn't mean being perfect. It means noticing what is happening around us, recognizing what is happening within us, and becoming more intentional about what we do next.

That leads Jim and Mike into a discussion about living on autopilot. Jim even brings up the longtime Western swing band Asleep at the Wheel as a playful connection to the idea of “sleepwalking through life.” How many days do we simply go through the motions without really participating?

Learn more about Asleep at the Wheel:
https://www.asleepatthewheel.com/

The conversation moves through compassion, boundaries, time, emotional reactions, expectations, and the Buddhist “middle path.” Jim reminds us that compassion does not mean becoming a doormat. We can care about other people while still deciding where our time, effort, and resources belong.

Jim and Mike also explore non-attachment and the expectations we place on our future. Wanting a new job, a different career, a bigger house, or another version of life isn't inherently wrong—but suffering can begin when we convince ourselves that those outcomes must happen.

That discussion leads Mike back to the spoken-word track “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen),” a piece that has stayed with him since his teenage years. He reflects on its message about the role chance plays in our choices: sometimes things work, sometimes they don't, and we don't have to spend our lives regretting a road that didn't lead where we expected.

Listen to “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Throughout the episode, Jim and Mike return to one central idea: mindfulness creates a space between what happens and how we respond. In that space, we can make a choice instead of reacting automatically.

The challenge for this week is simple: stop trying to become perfect. Work on becoming more awake.

Observe. Describe. Participate. And take the next step.

Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player.

Support Fishing Without Bait and receive ad-free episodes:
https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait

Pick up “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Drawing from principles rooted in 12-step recovery and mindfulness, Jim explains how shifting your mindset—away from comparison, criticism, and complaint—can fundamentally change your thinking, relationships, and even your brain chemistry. Together, they explore how gratitude isn’t just a feeling, but a disciplined practice that reshapes perspective and attracts more positive, authentic connections.

The conversation also tackles real-world challenges: handling gossip, navigating negativity in professional environments, and learning the “graceful art of leaving” situations that no longer serve you. Through relatable examples and practical techniques—like redirecting conversations or simply saying “I don’t need to know”—listeners gain tools to set boundaries without conflict.

Jim introduces a powerful mindfulness exercise centered on prioritizing who and what you “nourish” in your life, emphasizing the importance of investing energy into supportive relationships rather than draining ones.

This episode is a reminder that everyone is in recovery from something—and that choosing gratitude, awareness, and intentional action can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Check out Katie Dudas’ story at https://www.fishingwithoutbait.com/search?q=katie%20dudas

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🎯 Calls to Action

• Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast player
• Support us on Patreon for ad-free episodes: https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait
• Pick up our book: “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book” https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

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Jessie reflects on what it truly means to deserve respect, understanding, and equality in relationships, and why settling for less can cost us valuable time and energy. Through thoughtful discussion, we explore how mindfulness and self-awareness can help us build stronger self-esteem and healthier connections.

The conversation also uncovers the contrast between confidence in performance environments—like stepping into the wrestling ring—and the self-doubt that can creep into everyday life. Jessie shares how she manages anxiety, organizes her responsibilities, and approaches challenges with a problem-solving mindset.

We also discuss:
• The power of gratitude and shifting perspective
• How to engage with negativity in a constructive way
• The importance of asking for help and building knowledge
• Translating wrestling preparation into real-life organization

This episode is a powerful reminder that the way we speak to ourselves shapes the life we create.

⸻

• Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast app
• Support us on Patreon for ad-free episodes: https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait
• Pick up our book: “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”

👉 https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Discover practical insights into healing relationships with oneself, building boundaries, and the transformative power of self-attunement. From Bronwyn’s unique integration exercises to her philosophy on nutrition and self-nurture, this episode offers a holistic approach to emotional well-being. Whether you’re exploring mindfulness, battling shame, or striving for healthier relationships, this episode provides a compassionate and actionable guide. Tune in for a candid, transformative discussion that could change the way you understand and manage anger.Are you finding benefit from this show? We appreciate any support with our Patreon page! Pledge as little as $1 a month for extra clips, behind the scenes and more at www.patreon.com/fishingwithoutbait !

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