Vic explains why they try to approach ignorance through “neutral inquiry,” beginning with questions rather than immediate confrontation. The conversation examines the experiences of transgender people navigating public spaces, the importance of listening to people when they tell us who they are and the need to create communities in which people feel welcomed rather than merely tolerated.

Vic also discusses their commitment to Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ+ community and the fear that has caused some transgender people to leave their homes in search of safer places. That concern helped inspire Vic’s community involvement and ultimately contributed to the creation of New Rust Pittsburgh.

Jim and Vic connect these ideas to the principles of 12-step recovery, including acceptance, accountability, making amends and changing both thoughts and actions. They consider the pain of perfectionism and the healing that can begin when we acknowledge our flaws, accept responsibility and reconstruct ourselves through what we have learned.

The conversation then turns toward the overlooked side of Pittsburgh. Vic describes the artists, entrepreneurs, makers, small businesses and unusual creative communities that exist throughout the city. From strangers playing music together before the Fourth of July fireworks to the Andy Warhol Museum, neighborhood restaurants, local shops and nighttime bike rides across the Smithfield Street Bridge, Vic shares the memories that have made Pittsburgh feel like home.

The episode closes with a discussion about authenticity, privilege, personal boundaries and relationships. Vic reflects on overcoming people-pleasing, cultivating relationships with people who provide encouragement and stepping away from relationships that repeatedly cause harm.

Ultimately, New Rust Pittsburgh is more than a guide to interesting places. It is Vic’s effort to create a love letter to Pittsburgh—one that embraces the city’s people, creativity, weirdness and potential to become a more welcoming home for everyone.

Explore the New Rust Pittsburgh Podcast at NewRustPodcast.com.

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Vic is a designer, community advocate, and the creator of New Rust, a podcast exploring Pittsburgh’s transformation through the individual stories of people doing interesting things throughout the city.

Growing up surrounded by the enormous crowds of New York City, Vic expected proximity to people to create connection. Instead, it was moving to Pittsburgh that showed him what community could truly feel like.

Vic talks with Jim about discovering Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community, building a found family, participating in the city’s creative and wonderfully unusual spaces, and realizing how helping others can create a support network in return. From jam nights and local zines to simply meeting people doing something they care about, Vic explains why Pittsburgh’s smaller communities became so important to him.

The conversation also explores judgment, curiosity, and what can happen when we approach unfamiliar experiences with a willingness to listen instead of immediately forming conclusions. Vic shares stories of talking with coworkers who had little or no previous experience with transgender people and choosing conversation as an opportunity to create understanding.

Vic also reflects candidly on his own journey toward authenticity. He discusses growing up without the language to understand what he was experiencing, repressing parts of himself, getting married to his high school sweetheart, and eventually recognizing that the life he was living did not feel like his own.

As Vic puts it, transitioning allowed him to “meet myself for the 1st time.”

What followed was more than a change in identity. Vic discovered a version of himself who loves being around people, participating in his community, sharing ideas, and embracing the wonderfully weird interests that make each person unique.

This is Part 1 of our conversation with Vic Costik. The conversation continues in the next episode of Fishing Without Bait.

Learn more about Vic’s New Rust podcast at NewRustPodcast.com.

Continue Your Fishing Without Bait Journey

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Rather than trying to win a debate, Jim and Missy examine what happens when people listen to respond instead of listening to learn. They discuss the echo chambers created by social media, the pressure to react immediately and the assumptions people make based on political labels. Jim introduces the space between stimulus and response as the place where choice and freedom can be found.

Missy speaks candidly about her experiences working with Republican candidates and organizations. She explains why she does not automatically block every hostile commenter, how she decides when a response crosses the line and what can happen when community members answer an argument with research and supporting information.

She also shares a personal story about telling a longtime Democratic friend that she was a Republican. Although he was initially shocked, the two eventually talked openly about their differences. He did not change his political position, but he was able to tell her, “I still don't agree with it, but I don't hate you.” Their friendship survived because they chose curiosity and conversation over assumptions.

The discussion also looks at the effect constant screen use can have on attention, emotional health and sleep. Missy describes replacing nighttime doomscrolling with physical books and noticing improvements in her sleep and overall outlook. Jim and Missy encourage listeners to become more intentional about how social media is used instead of allowing it to become a form of constant maintenance.

This episode is not about convincing everyone to agree. It is an invitation to pause, ask questions, listen actively and remember that a political designation does not represent the entirety of another human being.

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Support the program and receive ad-free episodes through Patreon:
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Continue the mindfulness journey with “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”:
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Joanna opens up about the experience of widowhood, the emotional isolation of grief, and the well-meaning things people say that often miss the mark. She discusses the importance of allowing yourself to fully feel emotions instead of hiding them, how friends and family supported her during suicidal ideation, and the ways grief reshaped her relationship with her daughter.

The conversation also explores:

How to support someone who is grieving without smothering them
Why “How are you?” can feel impossible to answer
Anger toward God, loved ones, and life itself
Trauma, emotional honesty, and parenting through grief
The balance between needing solitude and needing connection
Why every person experiences grief differently

Joanna also discusses her one-woman show Widow, which she is bringing to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and how storytelling can help teach people how to truly love and support those who are grieving.

Joanna’s work:

The Occasional Epiphany by Joanna Lowe
Cup A Joe Productions Facebook

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Fishing Without Bait Patreon

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Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book

Joanna shares the story of losing her husband just months after their marriage—a loss that didn’t just take a partner, but reshaped her entire world. She opens up about experiencing prolonged grief disorder, losing years of her life to trauma, and the physical, emotional, and neurological effects that followed.

This conversation explores:

The reality of grief beyond what society expects
How trauma impacts the body and mind
The loss of identity, faith, and emotional connection
Why “I know how you feel” can be harmful
The importance of sitting with pain instead of trying to fix it

This is not a conversation about “moving on.” It’s about learning to exist again.

Beyond her personal journey, Joanna continues to create across multiple platforms:

🎶 The Occasional Epiphany:
https://ceeteecee.bandcamp.com/album/the-occasional-epiphany

🎙️ The Grin Reapers Club Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/show/66bwzvlXpuOcdxbk3a2ygo

🎬 Cup a Joe Productions:
https://www.facebook.com/cupajoprod
🎧 Calls to Action
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“Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Drawing from principles rooted in 12-step recovery and mindfulness, Jim explains how shifting your mindset—away from comparison, criticism, and complaint—can fundamentally change your thinking, relationships, and even your brain chemistry. Together, they explore how gratitude isn’t just a feeling, but a disciplined practice that reshapes perspective and attracts more positive, authentic connections.

The conversation also tackles real-world challenges: handling gossip, navigating negativity in professional environments, and learning the “graceful art of leaving” situations that no longer serve you. Through relatable examples and practical techniques—like redirecting conversations or simply saying “I don’t need to know”—listeners gain tools to set boundaries without conflict.

Jim introduces a powerful mindfulness exercise centered on prioritizing who and what you “nourish” in your life, emphasizing the importance of investing energy into supportive relationships rather than draining ones.

This episode is a reminder that everyone is in recovery from something—and that choosing gratitude, awareness, and intentional action can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Check out Katie Dudas’ story at https://www.fishingwithoutbait.com/search?q=katie%20dudas

⸻

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⸻

The conversation expands into integrity, ethical living, and how actions reveal character more than words ever can. Zeke also opens up about her personal evolution, sharing reflections on transitioning, self-discovery, and navigating a world that isn’t always accepting.

This episode is a powerful exploration of identity, resilience, and choosing authenticity in the face of judgment.

Calls to Action:
Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast player.
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Pick up our book: Learn to Fish Without Bait
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Shane opens up about growing up in an environment marked by addiction, violence, and scarcity, while still finding moments of community, guidance, and protection. Rather than becoming a victim of his circumstances, he made intentional decisions to stay grounded in sports, discipline, and work — even when easier and more destructive paths were readily available.

Throughout this episode, Shane reflects on learning from the mistakes of others, refusing to settle for less, and choosing action over self-pity. Jim connects these experiences to mindfulness principles, recovery thinking, and the idea that real change comes from effort, behavior, and consistent choices — not just intention or wishful thinking.

Topics explored include:

Growing up without a safety net

Making conscious “wise mind” choices

Learning resilience through adversity

Taking action instead of living in “ifs, buts, and maybes”

Betting on yourself when others doubt you

Speaking intention into existence through action

This is Part 1 of a continuing conversation that sets the foundation for deeper discussions on identity, growth, and mindful living in future episodes.

🎧 Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player
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Jim and Santina explore some of the most important emotional and spiritual challenges of our time, including:
• Finding joy in a world that feels overstimulated and overwhelming
• The myth of productivity and how tying your value to output diminishes your sense of self
• How fear fuels anxiety, and why anxiety can only live in the future—not the present moment
• Honoring the small comforts we take for granted—warmth, food, connection, breath
• How to protect your energy from negative media and emotional overload
• The difference between pleasure and true joy
• How children naturally process emotion with immediacy, and why adults lose that instinct
• Using memories and sensory anchors to return to peace during difficult times
• The illusion of separateness and the importance of compassion
• Breaking generational patterns of unworthiness
• Choosing where to place your attention—and therefore your experience

Santina shares wisdom from her years of intuitive work, helping listeners understand how to stay grounded, grateful, and connected even when the world feels chaotic.

Whether you’re struggling with stress, fear, productivity pressure, or just the pace of modern life, this episode offers comfort, clarity, and actionable mindfulness tools you can use right now.

🎧 Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast platform
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Are you finding benefit from this show?  We appreciate any support with our Patreon page!  Pledge as little as $1 a month for extra clips, behind the scenes and more at www.patreon.com/fishingwithoutbait !

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