Lessons from the Brink | Episode 403

not in a hospital and doing the show again

yeah yeah well it's uh

it's quite interesting uh

what's happened the last few months

Mike dealing with uh some

and I'm not being morbid

or I'm not asking for sympathy here

three fairly close brushes with death

the last one was a

was a song knocking

Knocking on Heaven's Door that was

that was interesting

and then dealing with a pneumonia

and then dealing with sepsis

which is a game changer

but you know what

I was never afraid at all

had no fear at all

and you know

as a behavioral health therapist

I often ask people about their fear of death

because it comes up so often

they have a

they have a tremendous fear of death

they don't know what's on the other side

and they're

they're afraid to leave this realm

you have anybody like that in your life

I think you're looking at somebody like that

I mean I've had my own kind of anxieties a little bit

like generally I'm pretty okay

but every once in a while the mind starts wandering and

and you start thinking about it and going you know

and have some anxiety about it

right um but no

absolutely and and

and and the way I kind of envision it uh

as much like I think anything in life is I feel like

I feel like it's gonna be in my mind

it's like a roller coaster

you don't know what's on the other side of that hill

and that anxiety of climbing

that first hill is the toughest part

but once you go you you go

and you're not even thinking about the hill you climbed

that's correct

most people

in some elderly people that I visited nursing homes

live a lifetime of regret

absolutely regretting that

what they did do and regretting what they didn't okay

and wishing that they could have

made amends to somebody or talk to them one more time

um however uh

I think I've

enough people know my sobriety date now

I've been clean and sober over 25 years

so in that time

I work through these 12 steps of behavioral change

I developed every relationship and continue to add with

a higher power of my own choice

the universe

energy whatever

whatever you want to call it

so it gives you a grounding place

it gives you a center

then we go to

making a inventory

we do our resentments

our fears in our sex inventory

and we admit all of our defects

in our faults to this higher power

and we try to give them away

we have to do that a number of times

so then what we do is we

make a list of all persons we had harmed

and becoming immense

make amends to them all okay

and the whole idea here is to have no resentments

no resentments left no

no no bad feelings at all

no judgements

you deal with what's right in front of you

you accept people

and this is the big part of it for give them all

so if you've cleaned up your side of the street

you're prepared okay

and you've talked to the people you needed to talk to

you you've gotten rid of your resentments

you've forgiven people

even if you have to do it every day

so I'm not suggesting that I'm looking forward to uh

the next adventure however uh

I'm not volunteering

but uh I'm okay

I think that's it

that's been a big shift for me as well because

um you know

I you know I

I I kind of

I kind of lament that the only

the only time that I think to

talk to a higher power is when I'm getting on a plane

about to take off

uh so I'm not like

I'm not like

you know as uh uh

concerned as I used to be getting on a plane

cause you know

when I started back in like

2016 on all these trips

like I had some anxiety right

well that's natural

yeah absolutely

so so there's a lot of you know

there's a lot of stuff that goes on the back of my head

is like well

if uh if if um

if I'm taken today

uh you know

I had a good run

you know it goes through my head a lot these days

and I really believe that

especially after last several years

I've had a lot of great experiences

made a lot of great friends

met a lot of great people

I and I hope

made a positive impact in some

some some way

well you're making memories

and what people

remember about you is

is your qualities

your true strength

your talents and abilities

wouldn't it be nice when

you've crossed into the next world of

people remember you as a really nice guy

and a man of integrity

told the truth

yeah that's what people want to remember you by

absolutely you know

what do people remember Abraham Lincoln for

being an honest Abe

being a man of integrity yep

that's what

that's what they remember him by

you know a couple things just to bring up briefly

I mean I've

talked to Billy about the podcast

my story little priest

you know once told me the creator from his terms

god talks to everybody

very few people listen

very few people listen yep

so I remember one time a number of years ago when I had

had a tremendous disappointment

I had someone in my life really let me down

before this venture was supposed to start

which we had all wrapped up

and one of the key players in it

the night before it was to start

called me and told me that they backed out

and they went with someone else hmm

I was angry

of course I was resentful

and I one day in the afternoon

a I was doing therapy

but I was not in a good space to do it

so I'm a Quaker

but I was a little further away from the meeting house

down on Ellsworth Avenue here in Pittsburgh

so I went to the mosque

which was close

and I sat in there

and I remember this old man

come up to me and he said you look troubled brother

and I said yes I am

and he said

give your real emotional

cause these are significant moments in my life

and he he said give your troubles to Allah

he has broad shoulders and big hands

and then he hugged me

and excuse me about this

but then that resentment vanished

cause I let it go

it was no longer that

important to me

and we talked before

Mike on this program about what's important

and I'd like everybody out there

to find out what's important to them

and this isn't all about me

but this is just

this is just facts

but it is this is the next

this is the next point of your story

that is gonna inform

cause this is

you know this is you know

your experiences

cause not everybody has

has let has dealt with this right

excuse me um

not everybody has has

has gone has no

nobody's walked the path that you have right

and and you're relaying your experiences

to hopefully help somebody through uh uh

what they're going through

and then this is important Jim

on Christmas Day

I received a

message from a former patient that had told me

that they were two and a half years clean and they

thank me for being kind and

compassionate to people in addiction and

after that I realized I still got work to do

I was pulled back those number of times for a reason

yep there's something left to do you're not done yet

however I cannot attack life like a hammer anymore

so I have to call my shots and do

and do the next right thing

so you know

here we are approaching the New Year

and we've talked before how resolutions

set you up for failure and disappointment

and we've been reviewing some of the old podcast

talking about that

as well and as people are listening to this

I think they're probably already

hopefully ever their New Year's resolution set

and they've just celebrated hello 2024

so as part of um

being a contributor

patron of uh

Fishing Without Pay

I have a number of uh

power points that I did

and when I was with Sinclair to show and my groups

and one of them is on resolutions versus intentions

so as part of the benefits of being a patriot

and going a little bit deeper into

our world that would

that's a that's a plus

that's a bonus

bonus feature for everyone is that

is that your resolution is more content for the patron

it's my intention

your intention

yes absolutely

absolutely not a resolution intention

you have no idea how much I use intention

uh with things

I never say I'm going to do something

like my intention that this is what it was

what is gonna happen

when I deal with patients

I asked him to

incorporate the words I choose into their life

it's my intention

or when they wrong somebody

just tell them that wasn't my intention

to cause you harm or make you feel bad

my deepest regrets

and then you don't do it again

uh huh uh huh

so it's all about you know

the Abracadabra deal

all the things we've talked about

I create what I speak

I speak what I create

and so we change our patterns of life

you know and understand that

a little deeper dive into 12 step philosophy

is that we own nothing

it is shared with us

we're shared this world

and it can be taken away too

so what's important is to participate in the moment

observe label

and describe and participate in what you're doing

be fully immersed in experience

rather than

we've talked about time traveling 150 times

but however

most people are time travelers

please don't time travel in the New Year

be right here and be right now

be in 2024 with your friends and family every day

it's like in the 12 step world we talk about

you don't have to stay clean and sober

for a week or forever

all you have to do is stay clean and sober right now

and that's a choice

so what happens was

when you begin to develop self concept and self esteem

you develop choices

and you empower yourself

most people don't feel empowered

which is why

the reason that most people fear death

because they haven't empowered themselves

participate in a moment

and it all goes back to the most

fundamental emotion that you and I've talked about

countless times

and that's fear

most people do fear to die Mike

most people fear to go on an interview hahaha

but against again

it's getting over that hump

it's getting over that first hill on the roller coaster

once you're there

once you're through the door

you're not even thinking about that

path that got you there

it's identifying the fear

what are you afraid of

let's check the facts

what do I know for sure

what does anyone know about to be on

the next world crossing over

whatever you wanna call it

so the point is

is to keep doing the next right thing right now

to know the difference between right and wrong

to have a moral compass

that be a person that people know are dependable

and always tell the truth

always tell the truth

and treat people with courtesy and respect

I found it in the hospitals

that if you treat people with courtesy and respect

you generally get the same

so I spent a lot of time in the hospital

talking about tattoos

because the nurses would come in

the doctors would come in

especially this hand ink and what

you know what the most common question I was asked

did hurt yes

and I said yes it did

very much so

I'm sure you continue to be a favorite

I got to see that

when you were in the couple months ago got to see

a star amongst the nurses and doctors

yeah well it's the handling that sets it apart

a lot of people have tattoos

very rarely do you see somebody with hand

absolutely so

live your life

put your own imprint on

I put my own imprint on my life

not only by my words and actions

but deeds of these tattoos

all of them mean something

and we hope that in this New Year

that we gain some more listeners and help people gain a

deeper understanding of their own life and

and encourage you

if you haven't gained a lot out of the show

when we do have the patron

we know not everybody has the means of course

those that do

thank you so much that do

um but you know

just sharing the show

sharing it with a friend

share an episode that really kind of uh

hit home for you and and

and saying hey

maybe this will help you

wrap your head around what's going on in your life

you know this helped me with something I could

we know we are out there

we know that we know

I know Jim's gotten the messages

I know this helps

how much has helped me

just being a part of this over the last several

I think I said when you walked in the door well

we have over 400 episodes

there's something for someone absolutely

and it's been really fun to go through the archives

over the last month that you've been

unfortunately away

but there's been

it's just like wow

we're not out of content and

and maybe people haven't heard

the version of the message from like

you know episode 3

70 you know

200 when we're here at 4 o 4

0 something you know

so you know

we might be a

we might be a

a small podcast in terms of audience however

we're not small on experience absolutely

and experience translates into wisdom

so we go along life and we

we pick up wisdom

we pick up positives

and that's a lot like we talk about

and it's been my pleasure to be associated

with you for over the last 10 years

we've I think we've

we have something here

I think that's a kind of a hidden gem

so hopefully

we can expose it to people

not for our greater glory Mike

not for ours

not me and you's

because fame

all we wanna do is

we wanna make an impact on people's lives

that's what we're supposed to do

we're supposed to carry the message

and that's what we try to do with this podcast

so if you have any comments or suggestions

if you'd like to share your recovery story

please contact us

we've had some awfully interesting um

tragic cases that turned out well

because we want

when we talk about recovery

we want to talk about the solution

we want to talk about what they did about it

and all these people who've been our recovery podcast

share that with you

and if you choose to

you can pick up on some of that

and incorporate it in your own life

so as at the end of every podcast

we offer a free prescription that you can cash

with me anytime

fruits nuts

and vegetables

unplug your television

and take up fishing

and for a truly mindful experience

we suggested you fish without bait

do a kindness for another

do a kindness for yourself

forgive another

and forgive ourselves

if we're all not the creator's children

none of us are

Namaste my friends

until we meet again

it's good

are we done recording yep okay