Filtered Reality | Episode 404

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here we go in 5

4 3 2 ah welcome back to an original

podcast of Fishing Without Bait

a lifetime without definitive expectations

where we help people

explode into their lives through full impact rifles

it's also very interested in hearing about recovery

stories as your host here is long term recovery

alcohol addiction

and to show not the whole of stories

but what happened and how you did it

that's the deal that we're talking about

so if you're interested in any of these things

if you're interested in empowering your life and

getting back to your self concept and self esteem

please join us

and today I'm Jim Bellamyre

and I'm Jim Bellamyre

every day as far as I know I'm going by

the co host of this program

the producer

hello good to be back with you once again Jim

yes Mike you know

as I'm back into uh

full time therapist

as I'm back into being a full time therapist

and seeing people in person

again reminds me of the issues that we're dealing with

when we're dealing with filter reality

so when I say this with filter reality

um it sounds like you know

it kind of sounds like you know

a virtual reality

a matrix the matrix movie

because the reality was what was presented to them

right yes so and again

people said this dozens of times on this world

and it irritates me so much that young ladies

begin to lose their self concept around 9 years old

when I look at 4 and 5 years old

I've had kids

they have a sense of self

they can be independent they can be blatantly selfish

they speak their mind

what are the first words that a child learns is no

they have a sense of self

they have a sense of identity

however that begins to go out of the window

and they begin to get exposed to unfiltered reality

and when I'm talking about unfiltered reality

I'm talking about social media influencers

okay okay so we're talking about like

the beauty tip girls and the dancing and

and and things like that right

there's nobody that looks like me

that's right

hmm

don't blame them

but however

they're all beautiful young girls and or handsome

stunning men and they live these lives that uh

people think that why can't I live that

yeah I know our friend daughters that was on

Katie daughters that was on the show a few times

was talking to me over the holidays

about how the few days afterwards

you get everybody with their halls

their holiday halls

so of course

they're rich people that had just got like

crazy piles of presents or something and then

and they just filmed them and put them on TikTok

cause it's like okay

good for you

you know not everybody has that situation right now

and then you know if you're

if you're good enough to afford a phone and have TikTok

now you're seeing that and wondering

why can't I have that

so these young people look at these people as heroes

they look at them as idols mm hmm

yes these influencers never talk about going to work

they never talk about cleaning clothes

they never talk about doing the laundry

what they talk about is

I have a wonderful life that you can too

so what they're doing is they're selling a milk

they're selling fantasies

and a more direct way than like we're used to

advertisers and beauty products and clothing lines and

and just the general

you know things are representing on TV

the Hulk Mark movieization of things right

this is more direct because this seems more real right

so we've talked about this before of course

I try to help people in a purpose in their life

I try to have them develop some type of a passion

however I hear a whole lot of meditation

people and influence out there talk about well

that's all you need to do

it's not they live in this fantasy world

convincing people that all they do is walk in

forests and play magic fruits and petting squirrels

I've always

always been

because I follow some business people

right you know

some business influences

I guess you could call them right

and it's like

all you have to do is this

this and this

I was like well

that's great because that worked for you

you're on the other side of it

and you're like

this is all I had to do

also maybe you were in the right place

the right time with the thing you did to get to that

you know you

we talk about the the uh

the 10 year overnight success right

it looks easy enough okay

how do I get to you

now the responsible ones are saying guys

it took me 10 years to get this

like it took me 10 years of failing to get this

you know it took me 20 years of failing to get this

it's okay if you're not there yet

you know there's certain things in my life with that

where it's like

okay I've been at this for 15 years

or certain things I have not accomplished

but actually

I got more time you know

before I was used to listen to this sports podcast

years and years ago Bill Curry

and uh somebody called in and talked about the night

they talk about the closer coming in and the pressure

and Bill Curry's response was

that's not pressure

when the rents due tomorrow

you don't have the money

that's pressure

hmm so most people that I know

like there may be a lot of that you do

we're dealing with life situations every day

we're dealing with putting gas in the car

going to work

uh feeding our family

paying the gas Bill

doing the laundry

doing all those type of things

dealing with rising prices

and those things are never addressed

so what I try to do is present people with conception

and the truest straight talk of reality

mm hmm absolutely

I know that most people just can't take

the afternoon off and go MUD in a MUD bath

yeah or go have stone

just go have a massage

I have been trying to

rack my brain for 5 years to figure out how

when and where I'm gonna go get a massage you know

I have not figured it out for life of me

we talk about Abraham Maslow's uh

hierarchy of needs at the bottom is safety shelter

that's what people's basic concerns are

so but then they're sitting cleaning the toilet

maybe watching TikTok

doing these things

in this beautiful hotel is doing these beautiful

things in this beautiful environment

and you're scrubbing toilets

and you're thinking

why can't I live like that

this is unattainable

and this is why I determine that

title of this podcast will be filtered reality

because it's to

I don't know what these people look like without

all the filters and all the settings

I don't know

I'd like to see it

yeah yeah yeah

what what what

what is the

what is the real date you ever see um

I I I I watch some behind the scenes

and it's interesting because you know

uh you know

the actresses were just used to like

what Scarlett Johansson looks like

or this person and this person

and then you see them without the makeup

and it's like a striking difference right

a lot of wrestler friends

I see them not done up

like they're going in front of people it's it's

you think of this person as they always look like this

it's like well

what they look like when they get up in the morning

you know those kinds of ideas

unfortunately

most people live paycheck to paycheck

and they're trying to squeeze out those last two days

when money's gone mm hmm

yep yep

blowing their paychecks on frivolous

things like gambling

yep yep

there's they gotta feed their children

they gotta clothe their children

and dealing with the unfiltered reality

teenagers deal with

you know like over 80% of people aged 13 to 19

get most of their information on social media

excuse me it's not the news

it's not their content

social media

there's not

there's probably less of the

gathering around the television

and that's you know

I grew up in whatever was on the TV you know

that was the information coming in our magazines

or what not right

and and now

you know they can be and themselves in their room

on their phone

wherever and

and and it's like

again you know

great access

but also maybe not the greatest things to be accessing

right I asked people to take the stowing view of study

there seems to be some kind of getting this recently

bias of influence by the last thing you see here

it used to be that

let's say showing my age now water concrete

whoever respected this

absolutely

that's carried over

this person say something the influencers say something

whatever the source you're presented

is the one that you believe

the one that's in front of you right

like every and again

keep in mind that

people who come to see me are coming in our White Horse

no but every single female

doesn't matter what age

every single female does not like their body

and does not

mm hmm every single one of

so where do you

them

yeah yeah from

from what they see on the phone on the TV

and

I've you know

and I'm sure not as severe as you know

and actually

I do know some people that have

had some body dysmorphia

some guys that have had some body dysmorphia issues

around professional wrestling

because it's a very show off kind of business right

and those guys are doing it and work on it every day

and still not happy with how they look

right um to me

I'm a video producer around wrestling

so I tend to hang out with a lot of fish and

fit in beautiful people haha

it's like part of my job

right between that and MMA and things like that

and just like oh

I've at least reasoned while I do try to work out uh

I have reasoned I will not look like this person

it's their job to look like that right

that's a difference right

the fitness instructor that I watch on my Apple Fitness

it's their job to look that good

you know so like

that is not entertainable necessarily

but it is something to strive towards

but it's okay if I don't get there

you know and be happy with like

and I feel better

good moving on

hmm and there are some people who are genetically

yes yep yep

yep and um and

and it's one thing I do like about

I've noticed this with Apple Fitness is they are

there are a lot of fitness and structures that are

representing different body types right

they're obviously working out

they're obviously doing the thing

but for whatever reason

their body just you know

does it a different way you know

things happen

I just read sorry

just one one more

I was just thinking about somebody who is

somebody actually got to meet a former WWE person

she was in Playboy back in the day uh

has had 2 kids still until television

um and she just had a video the other day about how

like she had a thyroid thing

and now her body doesn't react the way it used to

and this is somebody who her entire life has been

her body type in her fitness

and now she has a re identity thing going on there

right you don't know

and you don't know what those people have to go through

to look the way they do

well some of this enhanced by drugs or other

yes

yeah

a visible diet so

I used to go to this fitness place

I'm not gonna name it

and I didn't fit in there because

the guys were all hoarded out

the girls haha

these these are not my people haha

this is a plug

I guess for Planet Fitness

hmm

isn't that isn't it more comfortable to go to a place

absolutely absolutely

I don't want to go to the place

where all my pro wrestling friends work out

unless they're helping me figure it out

yeah well it might be nice to film it and watch them

go to their workouts and maybe present that but uh no

one time uh

I I forget it

there was a pirate picture

uh forget who it was

but he was a white guy

the rest of the

the rest of the team uh

was people of color in that particular day and uh

Willy Stardew came in off of uh

first base and then looked at the

and it was Jim Roger

Jim Roger and when we started

he looked at him and says

how's it feel to be a marshmallow on a box of bonbons

celebrate the differences right yes

well anyway

today's sport seems to be where there is a meshing

there is a mountain

and unfortunately

when I live in Pittsburgh

where there is more of a melting pot type of philosophy

absolutely mmm hmm

I don't judge other people's lifestyles

so that's what uh

that's what these social influencers bring out

whether it's intentional or not

but it brings out a lot of comparisons absolutely

so one of the biggest comparisons in

particularly for young ladies is what are they wearing

and when they go to school

hmm because maybe your parents

can't afford to buy the latest fashion

the brand name

cause everybody's looking at the fashions on TikTok

now it's even worse

you know and one of the things that

I always talked about this before

that bothers me the most is these wannabe

mental health

so called professionals on TikTok and social media that

tell you what worked in their lives

they don't work in yours

hmm but they

I I it's so hurtful it's

there's consequences to this type of unintended advice

you're telling people what to do with mental health

and most of these people have no experience

no education in it at all

and they're telling you what you should do

and I've heard a lot of them say that they shouldn't

you shouldn't be going

to college you shouldn't be going to therapist

you can figure this out

listen to us

I was like great

that worked for you

but you know

it's not necessarily

the prescription that's gonna work for me

well amazingly enough

all of these TikTok therapists happen to be oh

it's been proven over and over again that people take

what a beautiful person says to them as more literal

true than let's say

an average normal person who give them the same advice

that these people who are beautiful

they have something going on

so they listen to them yep

and I know that you know

you're a social media guy

and we've talked before

about kind of the paradox of us having these shows

and I think this is No.

404 about you help people connect

and I help people disconnect

yes yes well

we're kind of the Yin and Yang when it comes to that

isn't it so you know

but you know I'm hoping

I'm hoping I'm helping people mindfully connect

you know so you know

hmm

but people want to

everyone wants to be famous for 15 minutes

that used to be perfect absolutely

I have a company I have a company I work for was like

how do we go viral

I was like well

you went viral and what did you get

what did you get out of it

you know like

that's not what you should be building right now right

absolutely if you're using social media

it's just some escapism

like watching Ernest Goes to jail

just so funny

cause I actually watch Ernest say

it's Christmas over the holidays

just so you know

mind time that's not worried or anything that's

that's a small moment for me

however if you're viewing these things as some type of

reward for getting things done

but keep in mind that what you're looking at

listen and make a wise mind

look at this with a wide mind and find out

how real this is absolutely

so I think I've got that off my chest

it's just it's a therapist idea

and and and

and I think it'd be interested if anybody

wants to kind of chime in on our social media

uh listening this episode um

are you you know

do you find yourself kind of being

influenced by these things

do you have somebody that

that you know

that that you're seeing kind of uh uh

reacting to

to too much uh

too much TikTok

the wrong kind of TikTok

you know any anecdotes out there

please share those uh

whether be on our social media at without bait on

on Twitter and I'm fishing without bait on most other

platforms um

or you can hit us up on the contact format of fishing

without bait dot com and DMS

DMS are open as well

you know we don't have to discuss public

but we'd love to hear from you

and have a conversation with it

Jim loves talking to the I know

I know I know

I see Jim in the DMS here from time to time

so talking with the listeners out there

well uh just a little heads up on some upcoming guests

uh huh Jay's car uh huh

professional wrestler

will be returning

he's been in some great stuff

yeah look up Jay's car on J a y

C E K a R R

he over on our Indie Wrestling

US sister channel over there

I will I will say that the most recent matches

little SFW little guy

little bloody

but if you want to see what he's up to

he's having a lot of fun

and even teamed up with the Grinch

over the holidays so yes

somebody's dead somebody's dead

and another special treat on uh

January the 29th

uh Santana Grace

uh Clara Boyen mm hmm

will be joining us again

who has so many insights into life

mm hmm how life's been

absolutely fabulous

absolutely recording on January 29th

look for those episodes

probably coming sometime in February

after recording so yep

yep

people from California

and as always

material

hmm we ask you to consider becoming a patient

absolutely thank you

every dollar helps

yep

we've been fortunate enough

to be able to fund this show for the last

X number of years

I have no idea how long we've been on Mike

at least 6 years yes

so at the end

we offer a free prescription fruits

nuts and vegetables

unplug your television and take out fishing

for a truly mindful experience

we suggest that you fish without bait

do a kindness for yourself

and do a kindness for another

forgive yourself and forgive another

if we're all not the creative children

none of us are

be good to yourself

to all the free non agrarian non of them

okay well I'm glad I hit the backups because

I'm just realized I didn't record locally

one of those days one of those days

alright we're gonna pull this one then

and take that back with us alright

that makes that easier actually

cause now everything is on